


Memento

by Wookieil



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Anxiety, Canon-Typical Violence, Consensual Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Minor Violence, One Shot, Psychological Trauma, Ramsay Bolton is His Own Warning, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28463211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wookieil/pseuds/Wookieil
Summary: In which Ramsay loses all memory of Theon and is a completely different man but Theon doesn't believe it... until he does.
Relationships: Ramsay Bolton/Reek, Ramsay Bolton/Theon Greyjoy
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	Memento

**Author's Note:**

> So~ This is my first Thramsay ever and I don't know how good I did but I hope at least someone liked it. Sorry if the writting is a bit off, english isn't my first language. And sorry for how long this is, I wasn't going for a long one-shot but things happened.  
> Also please let me know about the tags and trigger warnings, I never wrote anything triggering and I tried to cover all the warnings. Hopefully I didn't miss any but if I did please let me know.  
> Btw this is show Ramsay and show Theon/Reek because I love Iwan and Alfie's faces and I haven't read Ramsay in the books so I'm not familiarized with book Ramsay yet.
> 
> Thank you for reading this and happy new year!
> 
> Laters :)

> The day it happened, Theon was doing his chores. Scrubbing the kitchen floor, to be precise. His sea-green eyes were focused on the foam in his right hand, it's perly white color glistened under the weak afternoon light; feeling it drip to the floor as he slowly moved brushing along the kitchen, cleaning every little spot, washing all the dirt away. His bony knees, covered only by his old, ragged breeches hurt against the stone cold floor, even if some times Theon was leaning on his left arm to not let all his poor weight fall on them, as he scraped his way around the kitchen. It hurt so bad, everything in him hurt awfully. Theon sighed quietly, and even that hurt. In his lungs, across his chest, through his chapped lips, as he swallowed slowly and kept scrubbing, near the table then, gripping the brush between his mismatch fingers tightly. It hurt, awfully, yes, but Theon rather hurt like that than hurt under the sharp blade of his master. A shiver run down his back at that thought, like the cold touch of ghostly fingers sliding down his spine, and Theon exhaled a shaky breath, memories flooding his mind and the scars in his skin burning with them.
> 
> “Calm down” Theon told himself, staring at the mess of water and dirt under his fingers. “Calm down, he is not here, he is hunting. You are doing what you were told to do, you are doing it right. Calm down, it's fine, he is not here” Theon thought, soothing himself, gripping the brush tighter, hearing his breathing getting irregular.
> 
> -He is not here...- Theon murmured, forcing his shaky hand to move again, brushing against the floor slowly.
> 
> “Not here” he thought, swallowing hard and holding his breath. “He is away, there's no knif, it's okay. It's okay” Theon told himself, again and again, as he scrubbed the rest of the dirty floor, feeling the cold water wetting his breeches as he moved quickly around the kitchen then, gripping the brush with both of his hands.
> 
> The soft muscle of his arms and legs hurt because of the tense and harsh way he was moving, fast and strong, jaw clenching, breathing heavy as he brushed the space near the kitchen entry, hearing the loud beating of his fearful heart rumbling in his ears. _He is not here_ , Theon kept telling himself, over and over again, even if deep down he knew it was useless and his nervous mind could never be calm again. Because there was nothing to sooth him, nothing that brough him peace, nothing that could stop the shivers, the tremors, the fear and the dread. Theon could manage to keep it in control, somehow, while being alone in his little cage in the kennels, or being outside in the cold winter weather when the strong winds hit his face and all he could think of was how easy could be to just let the wind blow him away, or being too tired and close to passing out after his master... after he...
> 
> Theon sobbed, warm tears soaking the dry skin of his cheeks as he blinked some tears away, his harsh and shaky breathing softly echoing in a large, desert hallway. Looking behind, Theon saw he had left the kitchen while being absorbed in his own thoughts and was now brushing the floor of the hallway that lead towards the dinner room. He swallowed then, carefully standing up and turning around to look at the job he had done on the kitchen, seeing the floor wet all over, but nicely clean nonetheless. Brushing the tears off his red eyes and face Theon reached for the old flannel he brough with himself early that afternoon, swiping it all around the kitchen floor and part of the hallway as well, drying up the old water.
> 
> It was freezing cold in the kitchen, Theon noticed, as well as every corner of Winterfell. Yet the smell of lunch still lingered in the room, making him more hungry than he already was. Theon remembered the Boltons had roasted chicken that day, with spiced butter and baked potatos. His master was strangely nice, giving him some bones to lick and gnaw at, but Theon thought it was probably because he was going on one of his _hunts_ and that always put his master in the best of moods. Smelling the remaining soft scent of food and feeling the rumble of his empty stomach Theon finally understood, giving him chicken bones and making him work in the kitchen was just another way to cause him pain, just another form of torture, another way to break him into more pieces.
> 
> -Gods, you are still here?- someone said behind him then, and Theon turned around so quickly he almost fell to the floor. -Shouldn't you be tending to your master?- it was the cook, or one of them at least, an old woman who always looked like she was mad at Theon but her eyes showed how much she pited him.
> 
> -M-master went on a hunt.- Theon said, as she surely knew, bending down to pick up the bucket and the brush, trying to ignore how his knees burnt and how his weak arm trembled as he lift the butcket, ready to leave for his next task.
> 
> The old woman looked at him stranged then, thick brows furrowed and lips a straight, thin line. -Did you not hear the gates opening? Did you not hear all the fuss?- she asked him, with a tint of irony in her soft voice; disbelieved.
> 
> -Umm...- Theon muttered, as his broken mind tried to remember everything that happened since he entered the kitchen after lunch was over and the cooks and maids had cleaned up the pots and plates. He had just brushed the floor, and had memories and thoughts that numbed his mind and made his body move on its own... but he did not hear anything. Just the sound of the water, the brush, his heavy breathing and his heart beating on his ears.
> 
> -Well, he is back. He came back a long while ago. Seems the measter is seeing him now. I heard his men comment he hasn't wake up yet.- the old woman said, and Theon felt a pang of something indecipherable in his chest.
> 
> -The measter? I-Is... master hurt?- he asked slowly, twitching uncomfortable at the only idea of... but what if... then he...
> 
> -Not enough.- the woman answered him, a hand quickly lifting to cover her mouth, brown eyes opened wide in horror. -I-I mean, luckily our lord isn't badly hurt. A-at least that's what I heard.- she cleared up nervously, looking behind her shoulders to see if anyone else hear her honest response but there was no one.
> 
> -But... what does it mean h-he hasn't wake up yet?- Theon asked confused, eyebrows slightly furrowed, throat dry and tight all of a sudden.
> 
> -I don't know, that's what I heard. You need to go tend to your master now, the measter said he was calling for your in his sleep. I have to make lemon cakes for Lady Walda. So off you go.- the old woman told him nervously, pushing him out the kitchen so fast that Theon thanked the gods, the old, news and his drowned one, the bucket wasn't so full of water or he could've spilled it all then.
> 
> Shaking mildly Theon looked out the window on his right, watching the snow fall silently outside the castle, feeling the winter cold under his skin. His uneasy sea-green eyes drift to the long, wide hallway in front of him, thinking about the dinner room and what was beyond it. Thinking about the way to the main, big stone stairs, the empty hallways on the second floor, and all the long, exhausting way till his master's bedchambers. Warm tears rushed to the edge of his eyes, yet Theon just swallowed, slowly, tightly, resigned, trembling as he took a step, and then another, anxiously walking outside to throw the dirty water in the bucket first.
> 
> And then... then that day Theon just went to tend his master.
> 
> * * *
> 
> The stone hallways of Winterfell had always been awful to Theon. He remember when he used to live _in_ the castle. Theon had always hated how dark Wintefell's hallways were when he used to walk down them in the middle of the night, sneaking out while all the Starks slept, to have his fun with some whore. He hated how the winter cold felt more freezing through their walls when he came late from one of those affairs and had to slide across the hallway leading to his chambers, feeling his hands numb in his gloves and goosebumps rising under his clothes. Or when Theon just arrived to Winterfell, being only a little boy, he hated the way that lead to Robb's room, hated the stories of the whosts that wander around the castle at night, hated how fast he had to run, eyes closed tight till he felt the warmth of the torch by the end of it and relif washed over him.
> 
> Theon had always hated Winterfell's hallways, and then, as an outsider, he hated how silent and lonely it was to walk across them... knowing what expects by the end it's worst than the consuming darkness, the freezing cold and the deafening silence. Some times, more often than not, Theon wished the hallway could just swallow him whole, wished he could disappear in the middle of it. Wished he could never take a step out, wished he could just die there, alone in the pitch black nothing between the ancient stone walls. Yet Theon knew he was not going to get that privilege granted, the gods were just not that merciful with him. Therefor he took one final step, by the end of the endless hallway, leaving his treacherous yearnings behind, and stood outside his master's chambers.
> 
> The strong wood door made him uneasy, made his empty stomach turn, and had Theon trembling by the only idea of what his master was going to do to him that day behind it. Every time he was summoned to his master's chambers he felt the same, sick and scared, anxiously nauseous. His need to run away was so strong, burning from deep within his weak body, but Theon always remained there, standing, not going anywhere. Theon was rooted in front of the door, eyes looking down to his feet, hands nervously gripping each other and crooked teeth worrying at his bottom lip. Theon didn't want to go in. Didn't want to sit and wait, wait for long hours till his master woke up and then... he was going to be mad and he was going to want to lash his wrath out on someone.
> 
> No, not on someone.
> 
> On _Theon_.
> 
> He knew master was going to be so angry, _furious._ His hunt was ruined and he was going to make Theon pay for it, turning words around to make it all his fault. His heart was already beating wild in his chest when the familiar sound of the door opening reached his ears. Theon felt his heartbeats stop for a short moment, felt the air freezing in his lungs, and he felt dizzy as his eyes lift up.
> 
> -Oh, there you are. Good.- it was measter Wolkan, and Theon's heart beated once again upon seeing him. -I will need you to stay with lord Ramsay until he wakes up.- the man said, voice low and always careful.
> 
> Theon only nodded at that, slow and short to not make his dizziness worst.
> 
> -There's water beside the bed, make sure to wet his lips from time to time. Check his temperature too, a hand to his forehead. Call me immediately if he gets hot or if he wakes up.- Wolkan informed, calmly, walking away as soon as he was finished.
> 
> -W-wait!- Theon exclaimed in a rush, not as loud as he used to be but still loud enough to make the old man stop and look at him with surprise written all over his face. -Umm... c-can I ask what happened?- he said quietly, cursing himself internally because he wasn't allowed to speak, not with anyone, less to ask something related to his master.
> 
> But Theon _needed_ to know, the situation was too strange. Why was his master asleep? Why did they came back from the hunt early? What was the fuss the cook mentioned? Was he injured? How bad was it?
> 
> _What was happening?_
> 
> Measter Wolkan must had seen the storm in his eyes, because he nodded silently before giving Theon an answer. -The men said they were attacked by a dire wolf when they were going into the woods. Lord Ramsay's horse lose control and he fell to the ground. He hit his head harshly and he hasn't woke up since then.-
> 
> The solemn voice echoed in the silence of the castle for a moment, as Theon assimilated what was just told, eyes wide opened in _terror_ at what that meant for him. Oh his master was going to be so horribly mad, so terribly upset, so annoyed, so angry, so out of restrain, so... so... Theon could even feel master's favorite blade cutting down his skin then, as he was standing there, flaying another piece of him.
> 
> No, _pieces._
> 
> Theon was sure he was going to lose more _pieces_.
> 
> The only thought had Theon twitching frightened.
> 
> -Umm...Thank you, measter. I-I will... go attend m-master now.- Theon murmured quietly, ever so quietly, sea-green eyes unfocused.
> 
> Measter Wolkan looked at him without saying a word, watching Theon's broken body trembling as he took short steps to the door. Theon could feel the pity in his clear, uneasy eyes all the while, but pity did nothing to him anymore. His old self could've threatened the measter for that look, his prideful, ironborn self could've raged and teach the measter a lesson. But his present self, his _new_ self, could not bother to felt anything about it. People could pity him all they wanted, it was not going to save him from the pain he was destined to... The pain he had _always_ _been_ destined to.
> 
> The murmur of Wolkan walking away barely reached his ears, because all Theon could hear then was the anxious beating of his restless heart as he weakly gripped the handle and silently push the door opened, fighting the tears that rushed to edge of his eyes as he walked in his master's bedchamber.
> 
> “Do not look up” Theon thought as the door closed behind his back, remembering one of the many rules his master had taught him.
> 
> It was warm in the room, so warm Theon felt a shiver run across his shoulders, shaking him to his core. He heard the sound of wood burning in the fireplace a few feet away, near the window. It was somehow comforting, almost soothing. The fire and the warmth of it was something Theon got used to miss too fast. It wasn't usual for Theon to feel the fire on, _not anymore_. Theon was always cold, all the time, inside and out. Cold and pain was all Theon felt then, all Theon was allowed to feel. The nice warmth of his master's chambers send a delightful sensation spreading to his whole body. A sensation Theon didn't feel in so long, he almost forgot how it felt. Almost forgot the sensation of blood running hot through his body, spreading down his legs, and rushing to his face, coloring his cheeks with a soft tint of red carmine.
> 
> Theon exhaled a breath he didn't know was holding, nervous eyes quickly shooting to the bed alarmed, afraid to be heard, seeing his master sleeping silently. Theon knew he shouldn't be looking, knew he just broke a rule, the most fearful part of his mind was screaming for him to look down, away, screaming to stop making it _worse_. But Theon's eyes were fixed on his master's sleeping form, on his calm face that looked so different from his master's usual cunning, devilish grin. Theon had seen his master sleep before, on nights he rather not remember, but not like _this_. Not with his young features so relaxed, at ease, without eyebrows frowning in displease, or jaw clenched tight in contained rage. Ignoring all the warnings going off in his mind Theon dared to take one, two steps closer, kneeling beside the bed, watching the soft rise and fall of his master's chest as he breathed calmly. From that angle Theon could see how unruly his master's hair was, falling above his closed eyes, how black it was, like raven wings or the midnight sky. His eyelashes were rather long, Theon noticed, and his nose was perfectly straight. His skin was white as snow, but a mild dust of pink was painting his cheeks thanks to the fire and the furs keeping him warm. Theon's curious eyes slide down to his master's lips then, noticing them a bit dry but pale pink as he remembered.
> 
> As he remembered the forced kisses his master gave him whenever he wanted, when they were alone, away from knowing eyes. Like that early morning when his master opened his cage in the kennels, waking Theon up with a yank on his matted hair and hungry lips on his chapped ones, before telling _Reek_ what his chores were that day, before going to prepare everything for the hunt. Theon remembered how breatheless he was that morning after his master was gone, how breatheless he always was when his master kissed him, feeling a blush burning on his cheeks as he remembered how he melted into the kiss that morning, how he _always_ melted into his master's kisses. Theon loved kissing, his old self loved kissing and his new self loved it even more because he wasn't allow to kiss anyone... but he was obligated to kiss his master back and Theon did without putting no restraint.
> 
> Theon wish he could say he fighted it the first time it happened, but by that time he was already broken and pliant, he just wanted to be good and avoid any kind of pain as much as he could. His master's lips were wet and warm against his dry, cold ones, Theon remembered he even could taste the wine his master drank that evening. It tasted sweet and it felt so good, after so, so long, that Theon whined into the kiss, shame and fear quickly taking over him as his master pull away and looked down at him with blue eyes glistening in the dark night and swollen lips smirking pleased. Theon thought his master surely mistook his desperate whine of pleasure for a disgusted, pained whimper because he kept kissing him, more often each day, and Theon didn't think his master could do something that made him feel even the slightless of nice sensations. Theon didn't think his master could allow him to feel anything other than pain and misery.
> 
> Or... maybe his master _pretended_ Theon wasn't melting against his lips every time he kissed him, _pretended_ Theon did not enjoy it, _pretended_ Theon kissed him back out of fear, terror and dread and not because of pleasure.
> 
> _Theon wasn't so sure if that was a good or a bad thing._
> 
> Brushing those shameful memories off his mind Theon shook his head softly, standing up to get some water for his master. It did not matter if his master pretended, Theon shouldn't like it in the first place. He hated himself for it, hated himself for being so _weak_. The darkest part of his self kept whispering it was better if he fighted, if he bite the bastard the first time he dared to put his disgusting lips on his, even if he knew his teeth were going to be pulled out after that. While the meek part of his self could murmur, faintly, that maybe that was what he master wanted all along. Maybe it was what his master still wanted. Theon couldn't be surprised if that was the case, if anything, it made perfect sense. But why would his master wait this long for Theon to do such thing? If his master wanted to pull his teeth out, he could just do it. His master did not need a reason... but he did need a game, a trick. It wasn't fun otherwise, was it? Theon didn't know, his master was impossible to understand, and he was far too broken to try to understand him.
> 
> Looking down to his reflection on the water Theon simply took the spoon beside the bowl, brushing useless thoughts off his mind yet again. He supposed he only had to get a bit of water, enough to wet his master's lips. Theon picked some on a small spoon, carefully turning around to not let his trembling hand spill the liquid all over the wooden floor... but his body froze as sleepy blue eyes met his nervous sea-green ones, and Theon felt like he was swallowed into the sea.
> 
> -Hello?- Ramsay said hoarsely, eyebrows frowning as his eyes closed for a moment.
> 
> -M-master...- was all Theon mumbled, head bowing by itself then, eyes setting on the floor.
> 
> -Master?- Ramsay repeated confused, voice unusually soft, as he tried to sit up on the bed. -Fuck, it hurts.- he grumble then, feeling a shot of pain across his body and on his head.
> 
> Upon hearing that Theon quickly looked up, seeing his master's arm covered in gauze, remembering about what Wolkan told him. Immediately he dropped the spoon, rushing to kneel before the bed.
> 
> -Are you okay, master? T-The measter said you are hurt.- Theon said nervously, anxious eyes shifting between his master's face and the furs covering him.
> 
> -Why do you keep calling me that?- Ramsay wondered in a calm voice, quiet. His light blue eyes looking up at Theon with a curious glint.
> 
> Theon could only murmur at that question, blinking without knowing what to say. -B-Because you are my master. And I'm your Reek.- he answered then, because his master always wanted an answer when he made a question.
> 
> -Reek?- Ramsay frowned again, still confused. -That is not a name. And no one in the castle calls me “master”, anyways. Why would you?- he said, curious eyes still on the man before him.
> 
> Theon did not know what to say anymore. He was so lost. What kind of game did his master wanted to play? Because this was a game, wasn't it? What else could it be? His master couldn't say such things if it wasn't to trick Theon into getting himself flayed. Right, this was a game... but what was he supposed to say then? What did his master want him to say? He had to play the game, he had to play it right, he had to make his master have fun, but _what_ was he supposed to say?!
> 
> -I'm Reek, master. Y-Your Reek. Good Reek, loyal Reek. I-I'm here to serve you. Always... forever.- Theon answered then, anxious voice rising, throat getting tighter, trembling hands gripping the dirty fabric of his breeches.
> 
> -That just can't be true...- Ramsay said in a calm, sure voice, which send a shiver down Theon's spine.
> 
> And then Ramsay said something that made Theon's heart jump hard against his chest, something that made Theon tremble violently, something that made Theon stand up without being told to, something that made Theon inform his master, in a rush and unintelligible voice, that he had to tell measter Wolkan he was awake, something that made Theon run fast down Winterfell's cold, lonely halls, something that made Theon shake excited and afraid at the same time... something that made Theon bite his lips to stop a hopeful smile curl on them.
> 
> _-...I don't remember about you.-_
> 
> * * *
> 
> Standing under the dim light of the torch in the great hall of Winterfell Theon could only look down to the hard, stone floor, hearing his master's calm breathing as he sat by the table, hearing Roose Bolton quietly driking his wine as his pale winter eyes set on his son sitting in front of him. Theon could feel the odd air in the room, it was unnerving, it made him want to run to the kennels. But Theon stood in placed, he was summoned by lord Bolton and he could not even dare to move an inch. Although, he didn't know _why_ he was summoned. After he infomed the measter about his master's awakening, three long days ago, Wolkan only changed the gauses and examinated Ramsay more, in detailed, asking him questions that Theon didn't listen because he was trying very hard to not think about the way his master was looking at him all the while... like if Theon was someone he _didn't_ know yet _wanted_ to know.
> 
> Theon was used to his master's heavy gaze, he already knew how _those_ eyes felt when they fell on him. His master clear blue eyes roamed his body from head to toe as he answered the measter's questions, calming taking in all of Theon's twitching form. He could feel his wandering gaze lingering in some areas more than others, like his legs or his neck, and Theon had to bite his bottom lip to hold back a whine because it felt so horribly _weird_. Everything was so horribly weird. The curious, _interested_ , look in his master's eyes as he just watched Theon standing there, by the end of the bed, was so completely foreign and new. His master voice was so _uncharastically_ soft and nice as he spoke as well, vacant of threat or fake kindness, disturbingly strange. Theon's defense instinct was screaming all this was a game, screaming to not let his guard down, screaming to play it the best he could so the pain could't be too bad.
> 
> Yes, it was a game. Theon was sure.
> 
> _But when did Ramsay involved Roose in one of his games?_
> 
> Theon didn't have time to even ponder about that idea when the sound of a cup lying on the table brough him back to the great hall, followed by the hushed rustle of lord Bolton leaning on the back of his chair.
> 
> -So, Wolkan says you are fine.- Roose commented then, no emotion in his low voice.
> 
> -Yes, father. Luckily I just got a few scratches. Nothing to worry about.- Ramsay said, with that weird nice tone that had Theon flinching.
> 
> A silent moment passed between them, as Roose examinated his son's calm face in sharp detail.
> 
> -Measter Wolkan also says you don't remember some... things _.-_ lord Bolton finally stated, his pale, knowing eyes never leaving the blue, clear orbs on the other side of the table.
> 
> -Well, I was informed I have some kind of especial servant. I don't remember anything about him.- Ramsay explained honestly, no sign of lies in his gentle features.
> 
> -You don't, really?- Roose asked, boredom in his steady tone. -Do you remember where we are?- he added, sharp eyes unmoving.
> 
> -Winterfell.- Ramsay answered in a beat, head nodding sure.
> 
> -And who did we took it from?- Roose inquired was sly, his hands lying upon the table.
> 
> -The Greyjoys.- Ramsay responded quickly, composed, his voice still soft.
> 
> -The Greyjoys?- Roose's thin eyebrows rised at that, barely, a subtle movement but his son noticed. -Or was it _a_ Greyjoy?- he wondered, his scrutinizing gaze never leaving his son's confused face.
> 
> Second passed in silence, without Ramsay giving an answer, and Theon wasn't seeing him, but he could imagine how lost his master must looked then. Surely frowning like he did when Theon called him master, so oblivious to the information he was given. Surely thinking hard, trying to remember what seemed forgotten. Theon was glad he couldn't see him, or he could've believed his master was honestly not playing a game.
> 
> -You really don't remember, do you?- Roose Bolton asked then, tone almost surprised.
> 
> -I'm sorry, father. I don't.- Ramsay told him frankly, in a voice that sounded defeated, as if he had no recollection of it at all.
> 
> -That's odd. Wolkan said you were calling _his_ name while you were asleep.- Roose said then, seeing how his son watched him bewildered, blue eyes opening slowly, bigger and bigger, surprised written all over his face as something seemed to brighten in his mind.
> 
> - _Theon_?- Ramsay exclaimed, soft voice low and shocked.
> 
> Theon flinched at the mention of his name, his _true_ name, his _old_ name falling from his master's lips in such a tone. He could feel those incredulous eyes set on him, and it was so impossibly hard to not run away then.
> 
> -Ah, you _do_ remember.- Roose commented with cold amusement, almost mocking, attentively watching how his son shaked his head softly in denial, expression so _curiously_ astonished.
> 
> -If he is Theon Greyjoy, how come he... why is he... I mean, father, _look_ at him!- Ramsay said, with worried eyes looking back at his father unbelieving, nearly scandalized.
> 
> Roose Bolton could only sigh at that.
> 
> -Seems you don't remember everything after all.- he commented tiredly, standing up and slowly walking to stand close to his son. -I won't keep wasting time on this matter. If you want to remember perhaves you should talk with Lord Theon.- Roose looked down to the somewhat ashamed eyes of his only living son, voice steady and cold.
> 
> Swallowing Ramsay solely nodded, eyes casting down. -Yes, father.- he simply said, obedient. Uncommon.
> 
> Roose Bolton stared at his son an unbearably second longer, while the sound of the storm blizzard freezing everything and everyone outside the castle rumbled in the background, before siently walking to the entryway of the great hall decided to retire to his chambers.
> 
> But before that he stopped, and Theon for some reason held his breath.
> 
> -Oh, and Ramsay?- Roose called over his shoulder. Continuing only when he had his son's attention, voice an ominous tone. -Do not send anything to Balon Greyjoy without my consent. No terms, no _boxes_. Nothing.-
> 
> -I would never do something without your consent, father.- Ramsay answered him then, solemn, gentle voice sure and honest.
> 
> Yet Roose Bolton gave his son a stern look at those words, one that made Ramsay feel confused, more confused than he already was.
> 
> Theon heard the man walking away then, without saying anything else, without waiting for Ramsay to say anything else. Leaving him alone at the big table, surely with more questions than the answers he was looking for that night... leaving Theon _alone_ with Ramsay in the great hall, while the storm was still unlashing outside the stone walls, just like Theon's screams were echoing in his turbulant mind as he stood there, under the dim light of the torch.
> 
> And when curious, kind blue eyes fell on him again Theon wished, with all his broken being, the ground under his feet could open and swallow him whole just then.
> 
> * * *
> 
> The weak glow of the first light of the new day swept through the tall window of the bedchamber, mildly lighting up the mute room as Theon stared at it with tired eyes. He had been there since long hours ago, after master ordered the maids to prepare a bath for him and the chamber that used to be his, after being bathed and dressed in his old clothes, after his master walked him to the bedchamber in silence and bid him goodnight in the most gentle of ways, still looking at Theon with _that_ curious look. The memory made Theon tremble, as he was sitting upon the bed with legs against his chest and back against the hard wooden headboard. Pushing the furs a bit more over himself, bringing up to his chin, Theon looked vacantly as the winter sun slowly came out, faintly iluminating it all, signalizing the end of his sleepless night. Theon thought it was never going to came, the new day. Thought the sun had died as every time he looked outside all he always saw was the pitch black darkness devouring it all. Theon thought he was stuck there, in that everlasting night, thought the blizzard had frozen time as hours didn't seem to pass at all as he just stared and stared at the door, all night long, _waiting._
> 
> _Anxiously waiting for what he knew was going to come._
> 
> Every time Theon tried to sleep, every time he closed his eyes, every time his eyelids felt heavy, Theon only sat on the bed in a rush, nervous sea-green eyes embodied themselves on the wooden door long feets away from the bed, breathing heavily and scared. He just simply couldn't sleep, couldn't stop the dread which shake his body, couldn't shut down the voices in his head screaming to be alert, to not let his guard fell, to be ready for what was coming. To be ready for his master to burst the door open at any given time, wide smile on his devilish face and dark blue eyes feral with thirst of blood, _his_ blood. To be ready for his master to yank his freshly cut hair, what was left of it, and throw him to the floor, sharp blade ready on his hand, slowly tracing his feverish skin, thoughtful of where to cut. Or maybe his master was going to just push him down on the bed, pin him on the matters with a strong hand on his throat, shred his new undergarments with skilled precision, leaving him naked and twitching in fear and humilliation under his hectic dark gaze.
> 
> “Any time now” Theon told himself, kept telling himself the whole night, parapeted against the headboard, just staring at the door, eyes unmoving, unblinking.
> 
>  _Waiting_.
> 
> The night passed by like that, slowly, glacier, endless. And the sun finally found Theon on the exact same position upon the bed, eyes heavy with sleep, limps hurting under the tension, and mind a complete chaos. Theon was sure he didn't feel asleep, not for one second. He spend the whole night wide awake, vigilant and ready. Fearfully ready for anything, _everything_ his master had planned. But Theon waited, and waited, he was still waiting... and nothing happened. Theon just didn't understand, why didn't his master show up? Was _this_ part of the game?
> 
> Oh... yes.
> 
> Slow, dumb, Reek. This was part of the game. Just like the bath, the chambers, the hair cut, the clothes, the exhibit infont of Lord Bolton himself. Everything was part of the game.
> 
> This big, fancy game.
> 
> _Was it really a game though?_
> 
> With a shaky sigh Theon pushed the warm furs off his body, stretching his aching legs and arms before his feet landed on the carpeted ground. Yet before Theon could stand up there was a knock on the door, a knock that made his heart beat uneasy and had his throat closing in horror.
> 
> - _Theon? Are you awake?_ \- came Ramsay's gentle voice through the wood, soft yet strong.
> 
> Theon didn't know what to say, he wasn't sure he could even say anything if he tried. All his emotions were a knot in his throat, it was even hard to swallow. Tears stupidly rushed to his eyes and Theon could just take a deep breath through his nose, trying to calm himself down. His master didn't like when he cried before he had an actual reason to cry, before his master _gave_ him a reason to cry. With that thought in mind Theon wiped the tears off, taking those torturous steps to the door, opening it quietly, not entirely... seeing his master standing there, in front of him. Glorious and strong as always.
> 
> With such an unsettling kind smile on his lips as well.
> 
> Their eyes met, sky-blue and sea-green, and the smile on Ramsay's lips grow bigger.
> 
> -Good morning.- he greeted, calm and bright.
> 
> -G-Good morning.- Theon replied unsure, eyes setting nervously on the floor.
> 
> -How did you sleep? Is the room how you remembered? Is it okay?- Ramsay wondered honestly curious, attentive; his intense eyes never moving away from the man in front of him.
> 
> “I didn't sleep at all and I wouldn't remember even if I tried because it has been so damn long” Theon thought bitterly, sadly, as he gripped the door handle. Swallowing thightly.
> 
> -I slept fine. Yes. T-Thank you, master.- Theon answered then, answered all the questions, just like he was taught, just like the good Reek he was.
> 
> -Can you _please_ not call me that?- But then Ramsay asked, pleaded, in such an ashamed, pained tone that had Theon quickly lifting his eyes, seeing the heart wrenching way those deep blue eyes implored him.
> 
> It wasn't just his eyes that implored, Ramsay's whole face clearly expressed how uncomfortable and unbearable it was for him to be called that.
> 
> And Theon was just astound.
> 
> _It really wasn't... It wasn't a game?_
> 
> -I-I'm sorry...- he murmured, unable to turn his gaze away from those hypnotic orbs and the naked emotions in them, a spectacle Theon never saw in his master. Not even once.
> 
> - _I am_ sorry, Theon.- Ramsay said sure, honestly apologetic. So real and so true. -For everything.- he added softly. Overwhelming.
> 
> Theon's heart beated strongly in his chest at that, and hot tears rushed yet again to his eyes. But he quickly looked down, head bowing as he nodded, letting the other man know he took the apology. Silently promising to not use that word again.
> 
> -Well... so... you are joing us for breakfast, aren't you?- Ramsay asked then, in such an awkward tone, trying to dispel the gloomy air around them.
> 
> -Y-Yes, of course.- Theon nodded yet again, feeling the sleeve of his shirt, which was a bit too big for him, falling off his shoulder with the movement.
> 
> Ramsay's eyes fell on the faint teeth mark on his collarbone and the pink _x_ scarred on his left shoulder, bright orbs growning bigger and surprised at the sight.
> 
> -I-I have go change now.- Theon rushed to add, closing the door in panic before Ramsay could say anything.
> 
> Covering his mouth with trembling hands Theon stayed by the door still, hearning nothing at all from the other side for a few seconds. Finally catching the hushed sound of his master, _no_ , Ramsay's steps walking away a moment later. Only then Theon lowered his hands, letting them fell in weak fists by his sides, and just stared at the wooden door in front of him. His clean firngernails were nervously digging on his sweating palms, as Theon just stared and stared at the door, mind racing with thousands of different thoughts. All the voices in his head were saying contradicting things, screaming him to do opposite actions, and his heart was beating so loud in his ears, so madly loud, that Theon wanted to smash his skull against a wall to put an end to it, to put an end to _all_.
> 
> But what Theon did was sob. All Theon did was crumble to the hard floor and cried, silenly like he was used to, alone like he was used to, with his forehead pressed against the cold ground and hands at both sides of his head, weakly holding himself up. Theon just cried, hot tears slidding down his cheeks, meeting on his chin, dying on the floor. That was the only way his mind could shut down, the only way his head could hurt so much he couldn't think of anything else other than the pressure in his tembles, the knot in his throat and the ugly way his sobbing sounded.
> 
> Watching his tears clashing against the floor Theon closed his eyes tight, letting himself cry more, a bit louder, letting all his frustation, his pain and agony out. Pouring into the ground all his contained rage, his fears, his desperation. All the emotions he had to suppressed all the time. He just let it out, all out, breathing shallow and irregular, body spasming as he hiccuped mid crying. The knot in his throat getting tighter, painfully tighter with unsaid words. Theon felt like he couldn't breathe then, felt his throat closing more and more, felt it hurt.
> 
> And he cried harder.
> 
> It hurt so bad, awfully, but it didn't hurt like when his master - _no_ \- Ramsay was torturing him. There was no blood, no open wounds, no broken bones, no punches... There was just the raw screaming of his heart, just his heavy emotions. And it hurt worst. It hurt in his head and in the middle of his chest. It burnt there, consuming him inside out. Theon felt like drowning, felt as if his heavy emotions dragged him to the dark bottom of the sea. _Where he belonged_.
> 
> Theon whined at that thought, biting his lips, trying to not scream as he cried still. He cried and cried till his tears runned out, cried till his eyes had dried and the knot in his throat disappeared. Theon cried till the pressure in his temples was nothing but a mild headache and the burning pain in his chest was just a warm flush on his pale skin. And then, only then, Theon felt like he could breathe again, felt the cold winter air in his lungs as he breathe in deep and slow, trying to calm down what was left of his breakdown.
> 
> “I should be going now. Can't make them wait” Theon thought as he cleaned the sticky tears off his face, suddenly remembering the Boltons were expecting him for breakfast.
> 
> Standing up was a difficult task, but not more difficult than putting on his _old_ clothes with his _old_ sigil on them, feeling like he was wearing a strange man's clothes. Not more difficult than walking out his chamber and definetely not more difficult than sitting with the Boltons, having breakfast as if nothing had ever happened. As if they didn't take him prisoner, didn't torture him, didn't ensalve him... as if Theon wasn't crying his soul out in his room a few moments earlier because of the man that performed all those cruel acts. The same man that recived him with a friendly smile and was sitting beside him on the table, eyeing him with an interesed gaze from time to time. No, picking himself up after a meltdown was easy compared to sharing the table with the Boltons, in that mute great hall, with that dim air lingering among them. _With all the ghosts around them._
> 
> Theon didn't eat much, just took a bite of what was it? bacon? he didn't pay attention, he just couldn't. He kept his eyes casted down all the time, pretending to be busy with his food, while lady Walda made comments about something, and Ramsay joined her on a small talk about it. Theon heard their voices but didn't listen to their words, because all he could think of at that moment was how bad he wanted to leave. He just wanted to go back to his chamber, just wanted to be alone, wanted to sleep and escape that twisted reality for a while, or maybe wake up from that awful nightmare. And Theon eventually did, after a breakfast that seem to have no end.
> 
> Yet then Theon was summoned for lunch a few hours later and he almost told the maid he wasn't going to have any, but he remembered he didn't have a choice. Therefore he ended up on that same table by midday, with an empty stomach and less hungry that before. Hearing Walda yet again making small talk with her “son”, wondering if his master -no- Ramsay ever interacted this much with her before. Theon was sure he didn't. And if Ramsay interacted with her at all, it wasn't like that. Ramsay was always fake smiles around Walda, and she was just too nice to notice the venomly sweet tone in his voice. But Ramsay sounded truely nice then, even his laugh had a clear jolly ring to it rather than the mocking, heartless laughter Theon was used to hear.
> 
> Which baffled Theon even more, if it was possible.
> 
> The idea that Ramsay was really not acting, that all that wasn't a game, was impossible to believe. It was insane, it made no sense in Theon's hypervigilant mind. His defense sense was dismayed, keeping his guard up, refusing to believe such ilogical thing. And yet Theon couldn't help but think that it was very logic that Ramsay could never dare to include his father in one of his games. No, Ramsay wasn't stupid. He could toy with anyone _but_ Roose Bolton. That's why the whole deploy the night before had Theon confused. There was also the fact Theon could see through the fake act of a sweet “son” Ramsay put up for Walda, whenever he called her “mother” and smiled ever so happy for her, Theon could hear the sarcasm through Ramsay's teeth and could see his grin fell as soon as she turned her back to him. Even if Walda didn't notice the facade, Theon did. And that's why these new and very sincere interactions with Walda made him feel puzzled.
> 
> Ever since Ramsay pretended to rescue him so long ago Theon promised himself to never fell for that kind of a trick again. Yet the logical part of his brain, the last sane part of his self, was telling him there was no trick. There just really wasn't. Theon could overanalyze the evidence, again and again, and his mind was going to reach that same conclusion every time: Ramsay wasn't playing any game.
> 
> “There's also the way he talks to me, the way he looks at me” Theon thought with a bittersweet taste in his mouth, as he walked back to his chamber after lunch was finally done.
> 
> _And a shiver run across his shoulders at the memory of those blue eyes and the gentle tone in that soft voice._
> 
> The sound of a door opening in the distance brought him out of his thoughts, and Theon took a few silence steps closer to that sound, reaching the end of the hallway he was walking through. Theon was still too far away to hear properly, and he couldn't see the faces, but he was sure one of the voices sounded like Ramsay's. There were steps echoing in the hallway and then the noise of the door closing followed after. Curious, Theon turned the corner and walked to the door in the middle of the hall, noticing it was measter Wolkan's chambers. Theon looked around the empty, dark hallway, finding himself alone, letting his eyes fell again on the wood door in front of him. Theon knew he shouldn't but still he caustiosly took a step closer, turning his head and leaning his ear as close to the door as he could, listening.
> 
>  _-I know I had asked this far too many times, measter, but there's really nothing you can give me to make me remember?-_ It was Ramsay's voice, low as usual but with a curious worried ring to it.
> 
>  _-I'm sorry, my lord. There isn't. I had search in all the books I have but there's nothing I can give you to make you remember.-_ Wolkan had said, solmen and honest.
> 
>  _-Why I had forgotten only Theon then?-_ Ramsay sounded confused, baffled. Theon wanted to know that as well.
> 
>  _-I don't know why you had forgotten only him, my lord. Is a mistery. There had been people who had forgotten all about themselves, their families, even their lovers. There had been people who only forgot part of their lives. But I never heard of someone forgetting just one person.-_ the measter was calm and careful in his explanation.
> 
>  _-Then what about my demeanor? Everyone looks at me as if I'm someone else, as if I'm different than what I was before. The maids, our men, lady Walda, you. Even Theon. He calls me master and... he looks like he is afraid of me. He can't even look at me in the eye.-_ Ramsay commented then, sounding rather afflicted.
> 
> A moment of silence passed, and Theon felt anxious just by it.
> 
>  _-You are a little bit different than what you were before you hit your head, my lord, yes.-_ Wolkan said carefully.
> 
> “A little bit?” Theon couldn't help but think ironic. He would say Ramsay was a lot different. Practically another man.
> 
>  _-Everyone seems to think I'm more than just a little different.-_ Ramsay's tone sounded upset. _-Will I be my old self again when I remember about Theon?-_ he asked then, curious.
> 
> - _I can't assure that, my lord. Maybe you will remember and you will be your old self again. Maybe you will remember but you will remain how you are now. Maybe you will be your old sef again but without remembering him. Or maybe you will never remember about him at all._ \- the measter said, voice soft and prudent.
> 
>  _-No. There must be a way to remember... Father said I should talk with Theon if I want to remember. Wouldn't that help?-_ Ramsay wondered intrigued, tone expectant.
> 
>  _-I don't know if it would help, my lord. But there's no harm in trying.-_ measter Wolkan didn't sound convinced, but he didn't sound against the idea either.
> 
>  _-Well then, I will go do that now. Thank you, measter._ \- Ramsay's voice was louder then, and Theon barely had time move away and pretend he was just passing by before the door opened behind his back.
> 
> -Theon?- Ramsay's calm voice called his name in a surprised tone that echoed gentlely in the hallway.
> 
> Theon awarkadly turned around, seeing Ramsay standing right in front of him while Wolkan was by his chamber's door.
> 
> Those blue eyes met his see-green orbs then, and Theon only pursed his lips nervously, greeting the man before him.
> 
> -I was just telling measter Wolkan I was going to go look for you.- Ramsay commented randomly, a nice smile on his lips.
> 
> -Oh...- was all Theon could murmur. -Why?- he asked then, even if he already knew.
> 
> -Well I need to talk to you. Would you like to come to my chambers?- Ramsay invated him, somewhat uneasy, with an anxious glint in his eyes.
> 
> Theon only nodded at that, soft and quiet, watching Ramsay's smile growning bigger, reaching his eyes like it never did. Theon felt his heart beat nervous against his chest, while Ramsay bid farewell to measter Wolkan one more time, asking Theon to follow him then. Theon just followed him, followed the path he knew too well, across the halls and up the stairs, hearing his heart beating in his ears, louder and louder as they got closer and closer. Theon didn't know why he was so restless, he heard what the measter said, he had gone over the facts too many times, he stayed up all night waiting and nothing happened. Theon _knew_ this wasn't a game... and yet, with Ramsay holding the door opened and looking back at him expectant, Theon was rooted in place, fingernails digging on his sweating palms.
> 
> “What if this _is_ a game? What if he is just a good actor? Maybe he planned all this a long while ago? How is he going to hurt me? How bad? I should run, I should just run” Theon's mind was in disarray, anxious and fearful and so, so tired _._
> 
>  _-_ Theon, it's okay if you don't want to.- Ramsay's voice was heavily gentle, careful. Understanding.
> 
> And his eyes, gods, Ramsay's deep blue eyes were clear and calm as a summer day and showed the sympathy Theon had always longed for since he met the man. It felt like an arrow to Theon's weak heart, one that made him tremble.
> 
> _It wasn't a game. It really wasn't a game. Ramsay wasn't acting, he was just someone completely different._
> 
> Theon had to hold back a sob, fight back the tears nearing the edge of his eyes, and he shook his head as a negative, taking a few steps in the other man's chambers as the door closed behind him.
> 
> -We really don't have to do this if you don't want to.- Ramsay said, as he came to stand in front of Theon then.
> 
> -It's okay. I just...- Theon didn't know how to explained it, he didn't have the words.
> 
> -You are afraid of me.- Ramsay stated sure, convinced. Yet his voice sounded hurt. -And I don't want you to be.- he added, tone unsually tender.
> 
> “I don't want to be either. Not of _you_.” Theon thought sorrowful, as he looked into Ramsay's consuming eyes.
> 
> But suddenly, unexpectedly, intrusively images of the kisses his former master used to gave him flooded his memory, and Theon quickly turned his gaze away feeling ashamed.
> 
> -W-What did you want to talk about?- he rushed to ask then, taking a step back from the lord in front of him, putting distance between them.
> 
> Theon was sure Ramsay was eyeing him confused, maybe even worried.
> 
> -Well, since I can't remember about you and measter Wolkan says there's no a cure for it I thought... maybe talking with you could help.- Ramsay explained, sounding a bit awkward.
> 
> -Oh... what do you want to talk about?- Theon asked carefully, voice slow and low.
> 
> -I don't know.- Ramsay said with a sigh. -Maybe you could tell me how I was before. Everyone seems to think I'm different now.- he said then, eyes wandering in the form of the man before him.
> 
> Theon bite his bottom lip at that request, and his fingers nervously laced with each other as he thought what he should say. The person Ramsay was... it wasn't easy to describe without having a breakdown.
> 
> -Well... you were... not like you are now. You were... the opposite, I would say.- Theon started speaking, slow and calm, trying so hard not to cry.
> 
> -The opposite...- Ramsay murmured thoughtful. -Was I mean?- he asked with caution, attentively watching how Theon nodded.
> 
> -Cruel.- Theon offered, and then he took a deep breath. -You liked... to hurt people.- he said in a hushed voice, as if he didn't want to say it at all.
> 
> Ramsay didn't say anything then, for long tortuous seconds, and the silence in the chamber was so unbearable Theon carefully lift his eyes, finding Ramsay visibly upset. His eyebrows were frowning displeased and his jaw was clenching tight, a habit Theon had grown to know far too well when the other man was angry. But his eyes, the eyes that usually were cold and dreadful whenever Ramsay was upset looked afflicted then, and there was an ashamed glint in them that surprised Theon.
> 
> -When you say I liked it you mean I enjoyed it?- Ramsay asked, trying to stay calm but the annoyance was audible in his voice.
> 
> Theon only nodded at that, noticing how Ramsay's hands close in angry fists by his sides, and it was unbelievable how Theon didn't feel scared by it. Ramsay was angry with himself, probably for the first time in his entire life and Theon couldn't believe his eyes.
> 
> But then Ramsay averted his gaze, looking down to the floor.
> 
> -Did I... Did I hurt you?- he asked softly, somewhat ashamed, and Theon felt a pang in his heart upon hearing that.
> 
> -Yes.- Theon answered in a whisper. -You... you enjoyed hurting me the most.- he explained weakly, awful memories quickly playing in his mind.
> 
> Theon swallowed slowly then, taking a deep breath as he watched how Ramsay turned his back to him, leaning his hands on the empty study table by one of the windows, letting his head hang for a moment. Theon could just watch him in silence, thinking how awful must be to know you used to be a sadistic monster. Theon had always knew he was a terrible man, but not terrible enough to deserve Ramsay Bolton.
> 
> _No one was terrible enough to deserve Ramsay Bolton._
> 
> -Could you tell me what I did?- Ramsay asked him then, still facing the window, head still hanging low.
> 
> Theon let a shaky breath out at that. He thought about saying _please dont make me_ and he was sure Ramsay wasn't going to, but he was also sure Ramsay was going to ask someone else and the idea of Ramsay hearing all the horrible things he did to him from someone else's mouth had Theon trembling in humiliation.
> 
> -The question should be what _didn't_ you do.- Theon said humourless, trying to smirk like he used to, but not even a faint smile could curve in his lips. -You saw the x on my shoulder, didn't you? That's the smallest cut you did.- Theon commented, feeling all his scars pulsing.
> 
> -You could hurt me whenever you were bored, because boring you was the worst thing anyone could do. You could play games just to hurt me too, because that was fun to you.- Theon explained as calm as he could, his throat getting tight. -Sometimes you didnt have to be bored, didn't need a game. Sometimes you just wanted to burnt me, cut me all over, break another bone, flayed another finger. Some days you felt like punching me and kicking me until I was unconscious, somedays you could starve me more than usual, and somedays you could...-
> 
> -Stop it, Theon. Please.- Ramsay turned around interrupting him, looking back at him with sorrowful blue eyes.
> 
> Theon pursed his lips, holding back a sob before he continued with a pained voice. -Do you know why your father told you to not send any boxes to my father? Because you send him the fingers you flayed, telling him to retreat from the North or you were going to send more boxes with more pieces of me.-
> 
> -Theon...- Ramsay murmured astonished, horrified.
> 
> -Y-You made me your slave, your dog. Y-You named me Reek, because you didn't l-let me bath so I reeked. I-I slept in the kennels and ate whatever scraps you let me... Y-You did _everything_ you wanted with me... everything... even the most unthinkable of things.- Theon said between clenched teeth, angry and hurt, trying to be strong.
> 
> The tears that wanted to fall stinged his eyes yet Theon was able to hold them back, and he remained as composed as he could, looking back into Ramsay's pained gaze.
> 
> -I am so sorry, Theon.- Ramsay said then, gentle voice afflicted. -If I could undo everything I did to you, I swear I would.-
> 
> Theon could only nod then, swallowing thightly as he kept looking into Ramsay's eyes, seeing the sincerity in them, seeing how sorry Ramsay felt. But Theon could also see the guilt and the sorrow turning the shine in those clear orbs dull. He could see the anguish, the pain and the shame in Ramsay's face as well. Raw and real. Theon couldn't help but think Ramsay looked... heartbroken. That made Theon's heart wrench a bit. _This_ Ramsay didn't deserved to feel guilty, to be hurt, to apologize, he did nothing wrong. And it was Theon then who felt bad for the other.
> 
> -You also... well... y-you used to...- Theon tried to explain the only thing that Ramsay did to him that wasn't painful, the only thing that felt good. But as soon as he realized this Ramsay might be disgusted by it, he didn't know what to say.
> 
> -I also what? I used to what?- Ramsay wondered curious, staring at him.
> 
> -I-It doesn't matter. You just... sometimes... it was good.- Theon nervously explained, or tried to. Watching how Ramsay frown confused.
> 
> -What was good?- Ramsay wondered again, eyes falling down to Theon's neck, down to his covered clavicle. -Oh, you mean the teeth mark?- he remembered, a finger pointing at his own collarbone.
> 
> -No! That was not good, that was... that...- Theon could only stared at Ramsay, swallowing hard as the memory of torturous nights fogged his memory.
> 
> -Oh...- Ramsay whispered then, understanding. -So I forced myself on you as well.- he said, voice painfully sad.
> 
> -Y-yes but putting that aside, putting all the bad things aside, you still did something that felt good.- Theon didn't know why he was trying to comfort him, it wasn't going to be comforting anyways, Ramsay was just going to be disgusted.
> 
> -Really? What was it? I can't imagine I could do anything good.- Ramsay commented dubtful, soft voice sounding distressed.
> 
> -You... well sometimes you... you could... kiss me. And it was good... I liked it.- Theon finally said, and it felt like a confession because his cheeks warmed up and his heart beated fast against his chest.
> 
> Admiting that in front of the old Ramsay could've been his doom. But this Ramsay only stared at him, not mad, not displeased, not disgusted. He only stared into Theon's sea-green orbs as he took a step closer, and Theon felt his heart spark at the proximity.
> 
> -If I was forcing a kiss on you how could it be good, Theon?- Ramsay's soft voice was low as he asked.
> 
> -I know it was bad to force me but... I couldn't kiss anyone else and it did feel good so...- Theon tried to explain, but didn't sound convincing.
> 
> -Exactly. I shouldn't have forced you. It wasn't right.- Ramsay said in a sure tone, as his blue eyes looked attentively into Theon's.
> 
> -But if you didn't kiss me then I wasn't going to kiss anyone still. I-I like kissing... and you are a good kisser too. Also, it was the only time I didn't feel pain, the only time I wasn't hurting.- Theon argued, feeling a blush burning across his cheeks under that intense gaze.
> 
> -It seems to me that you are trying to comfort me, Theon. And I think you shouldn't.- Ramsay commented then, and gods Theon hated how easily he could read him.
> 
> -C-Can't you just accept there was one thing you did that wasn't all that awful? Please?- Theon begged, feeling terribly embarrassed.
> 
> It was quiet for moment, as they just stared at each other, and Theon thought Ramsay wasn't going to accept what he was offering, and if Ramsay didn't then Theon wasn't going to insist any longer. Theon wanted to comfort him, yes, but if Ramsay didn't find it comforting then Theon could only accept it. And even if Theon knew liking a kiss even if it was forced wasn't good, Theon still found it somewhat comforting to have at least one thing that didn't hurt.
> 
> But when Ramsay spoke again, with his gentle voice tinted with an inviting tone, Theon's eyes opened incredulous. -I can't accept it just like that. Although, you can prove it to me.-
> 
> -What...?- Theon mumbled at that, taking a step back. And Ramsay took a step closer.
> 
> -Prove me you liked it.- Ramsay said simply, as his bright eyes looked down to Theon's lips for a moment.
> 
> Theon thought he must had gone mad then. He didn't just see that, did he? Because Ramsay wasn't looking at his mouth, was he?
> 
> -A-Aren't you disgusted?- Theon asked nervously, unbeliving; his breathing getting quick.
> 
> -Do I look disgusted, Theon?- Ramsay wondered, taking another step closer; his voice sounding lower.
> 
> Theon just didn't know what to say or what to do. All he could think of was the loud rumble of his heart in his ears and when was the last time Ramsay kissed him. His eyes drifted to the man's lips then and Theon wondered if they still tasted sweet from the wine Ramsay had not too long ago at lunch.
> 
> “You shouldn't be wanting this, you idiot!” the thought crossed his mind briefly, disappearing in the echo of his fluttering heart, dissolving under that intense blue gaze.
> 
> -Can I do it then?- Ramsay asked in a soft, kind tone; leaning closer.
> 
> Theon didn't have the words to answer that, he couldn't trust his voice either. He leaned in closer as well as a sign, nervously, anxiously; watching how Ramsay's gaze wandered down to his lips and back up to his eyes. Theon felt hands lying on his waist then, not pulling him, not demanding; just lying there, just holding him softly. Theon felt Ramsay's warm breath against his mouth, and he shivered. Shortly after Theon felt Ramsay's warm lips against his own, tender and soft, not moving at all, just a delicate pressure against his mouth. And then Ramsay was pulling away, just a bit, enough to look into Theon's hazy eyes to see what he needed to see.
> 
> _That this was okay._
> 
> It shone so bright in Theon's eyes, it was written clearly all over Theon's blushed face as well. Ramsay leaned in, kissing the man in his arms again, feeling him shiver one more time under his touch. Theon was warm against him, and his mouth was hot and eager against his own, sucking on his bottom lip and whining whenever he felt Ramsay's tongue. Theon wasn't lying when he said he liked kissing, and Ramsay was glad he could enjoy it. Ramsay was glad Theon wanted this too, wanted it as much -as _bad_ \- as Ramsay wanted it. Because Ramsay had to conefess ever since he lied his eyes on the other man he felt this unbearable and inexplicable attraction. This feeling that burnt inside him, this animalistic want to possess, to have, to _own_. There was this darkness within him, a need to claim Theon pulsing through his vains whenever he saw him and a constant whisper of _mine, mine, mine_ at the back of his head.
> 
> Ramsay never understood it, not until then. Theon was someone he had no memories of, was just a stranger, but his body -his _instinct_ \- screamed he wanted Theon, that Theon was his. There was this curious pull inside of Ramsay ever since he woke up the day of his accident, this habit of always looking at Theon, of always thinking of Theon, of wanting to be close to Theon, wanting to feel Theon, to smell him, to taste him. It was a hunger, a need, a crave so strong, so incessant that Ramsay couldn't understand it. But with Theon in his arms, flushed against him, it made perfect sense. It felt like they belonged there, together, just like that. And the darkness whispering in his mind was louder then, and the want was stronger, hotter. Ramsay let one of his hand slide to Theon's hip drawning small circles with his thumb there, feeling Theon shiver. Ramsay felt anxious fingers tugging on the buttons of his jacket then, and soon after Theon was undoing the button of his own jacket as well, softly pulling the garments off their bodies, letting them fell to the floor. Ramsay felt Theon's thin arms wrapping around his neck, pulling them closer against each other, and something burnt deep inside of him as he heard Theon sighing content against his mouth.
> 
> The need to have Theon, to own him was so strong, so uncontrollably intense, that Ramsay had to made an extra effort to break the kiss, and it was even more difficult to keep his hands on Theon's waist as he stared at him. Their loud breathings echoed in the bedchamber, and Ramsay wondered if Theon's heart was beating as madly as his own at that moment.
> 
> -We should... get to the bed.- Theon said in a whisper, his warm breath clashing against Ramsay's mouth.
> 
> Ramsay just stared at him for a moment, procesing what the young man just said, and he had to swallow hard when it finally made sense.
> 
> -Only if you want to.- Ramsay answered then, sounding surprisingly nervous.
> 
> Theon didn't say anything, just took a few steps back, arms still around Ramsay's neck, pulling both of them down to the soft matters. The furs were warm against his back, Theon could feel them through the thin fabric of his shirt, and the pillows felt fluffy under his head. It felt so nice, so cozy, Theon used to wonder how sleeping in Ramsay's bed could be like, when he was in the cold kennels and the hard floor made all his wounds hurt a thousand times worst.
> 
> The memory must had put a sad glint in his eyes, because Ramsay's hand was soon on his cheek, thumb gently caressing his skin.
> 
> -What is it?- Ramsay asked in a hused tone, eyes atenttively looking into Theon's.
> 
> -I was thinking I used to wonder how it felt to be in your bed.- Theon told him, omitting the dark details.
> 
> -Well, now you know.- Ramsay smirked then, a nice grin that Theon found attractive, before he leaned down capturing Theon's lips in a new kiss.
> 
> Ramsay kissed him with such passion and want, slowly and deep, still holding Theon's face in a tender grip. Theon was melting under him, getting hot as Ramsay sucked on his bottom lip and pressed himself more into his body, making Theon moan against his lips. Ramsay felt so heavy on top of him, so strong and firm, yet still warm and soft. He felt so good, so nicely good Theon let his hands lay on Ramsay's chest, feeling the muscle under his fingertips and the fast heatbeats, moaning a little louder as Ramsay's hands rested on his hips then, pressing their bodies more into each other. It really felt so good, Ramsay was slow and sure in his movements, bulding up the exciment in Theon with his skilled tongue and his burning touch. It was nothing like the rushed and forced motions Theon was used to, the coldness of the stone floor wasn't there and neither was the pain rippling through his broken body. Ramsay was overwhelmingly caring, melting with Theon, just enjoying their kiss, not moving any further, waiting for Theon to give him a sign to do so.
> 
> The hands on Ramsay's chest slowly slided down, warm fingertips tracing his navel before Theon curled his fingers on the edge of his shirt and pulled it off of Ramsay. It wasn't the first time Theon saw him shirtless, but his eyes still looked at the fair skin as if he never saw anything like it. Ramsay's pale skin was fawless, only adorned with pretty moles scattered along his body, a contrast so beautiful Theon couldn't help but think of the midnight sky and stars. Ramsay was all hard muscle and broad shoulders, all defined lines and strong anatomy, and Theon could only bite his lip at the sight. He wanted to touch him so bad, wanted to feel how soft and hot Ramsay's skin was, but when Theon's saw his mismatch fingers reaching for it he quickly pulled his hand away, embarrased and ashamed.
> 
> -It's okay- Rasamy said then, gently grabbing his hands and placing them where Theon wanted. -I want you to.- he whispered against Theon's mouth then, kissing him one more time.
> 
> With trembling fingers Theon let his hands wander down Ramsay's chest, feeling the man shiver under his touch. Ramsay's skin was as warm and as soft Theon thought it was, and he could feel the muscles under his fingertips work as he let his hands slide up Ramsay's back, down his strong arms, run across his shoulders and down his sides, feeling his ribs and the little bland places Ramsay had. Theon could feel how Ramsay burnt under his caresses, could feel Ramsay's strong hands gripping his bony hips a little tighter. But then Theon's felt Ramsay's fingers mildly stroking the scarred skin of his waist under his shirt, and Theon quickly pushed the hands away.
> 
> -I-I'm sorry, I don't want you to... I just... c-can I keep my shirt on?- he asked then, nervously looking into Ramsay's calm eyes.
> 
> Theon didn't want him to see the ugly scars, the nasty burns, the missing pieces of flesh. Theon didn't want him to be _repelled_.
> 
> -It's okay, I understand. I just want to touch too but I understand if you aren't comfortable with it.- Ramsay said in a gentle tone, leaning down to give Theon a peck. -Next time, maybe?- he smirked then, drawning reassuring circles on his hip.
> 
> Theon only smiled at Ramsay, a small and nervous grin, before leaning in for another kiss, wanting the awkward air around them to dispel. It didn't take long for Theon to forget about it thanks to Ramsay's addicting kisses and irresistible body heat. Soon he was moaning again under Ramsay's lips, as he sucked bright hickeys on his neck, feeling Ramsay's hands on his thighs, groping the tender flesh there, kindly pushing his legs apart making room for himself. Theon whined desperately, feeling Ramsay's arousal pressing against his own, and just then Theon realized how hard he was. It had been such a long time since he was aroused, the feeling was almost new, and it was so strong. The mere brush Ramsay made had Theon whimpering like a needy whore and he hated himself for that, but he couldn't help it. It really had been so long, and Ramsay felt so fucking good against him.
> 
> -The sounds you make...- Ramsay whispered husky against his neck, and Theon shivered as he rubbed their cocks together.
> 
> -Ramsay, _please_.- Theon moaned, throaty and needy, hands gripping the furs under him.
> 
> Theon felt how Ramsay breathed deeply against his neck, and he trembled when Ramsay sat up on the bed, quickly undoing the knot on Theon's breeches. Ramsay kindly pulled them off his legs, leaving him half naked under his deep blue gaze. Theon's cock was hard against his stomach, and he was so wet he was already staining his white new shirt. It was embarrassing and Theon felt ashamed, but the intense way Ramsay was looking at him prevented him from covering himself. Ramsay was looking at him as if he wanted to eat him up, just as needy as Theon was.
> 
> -You are fucking pretty.- Ramsay murmured in a low voice, as his hungry eyes took in the sight.
> 
> But when his gaze fell on the scars on Theon's thighs he felt a pang in his heart. He could never understand why his old self choose to hurt Theon when pleasuring him was far better and Theon clearly liked it. Ramsay gently put Theon's left leg over his shoulder, kissing the cuts on his thight, caressing the scars on his right leg, hearing how Theon's breath got quicker as he kissed the scars on his inner thigh, kissing all the expanse of feverish skin up to his hip bone.
> 
> -C-Can you please hurry up?- Ramsay heard how Theon asked in a weak voice, and saw how Theon gripped the furs of the bed as well.
> 
> Theon clearly couldn't wait, and Ramsay wasn't going to make him.
> 
> Leaving one final kiss on Theon's hip bone Ramsay reached out under the mattress, quickly finding the little oil bottle he had hidden there. He got it the same day of his accident, after he found out about the strong want and need he felt for Theon, to appease the desire burning under his skin in the cold winter nights. There was not much liquid left in the bottle, a little less than half, but Ramsay figured it was enough. He opened it and poured some on his right hand, coating his fingers with it, letting his other hand carress Theon's right thigh as his wet fingertips softly brushed over Theon's exposed rim.
> 
> -Is this fine, Theon?- Ramsay had to asked, had to know he wasn't yet again forcing himself on the man. Had to know he wasn't hurting Theon again.
> 
> His attentive eyes were set on the man underneath him, noticing how Theon bite his bottom lip, sea-green eyes closed tight as he nodded anxiously against the pillows. Ramsay couldn't help but lick his lips at the sight, mouth feeling dry, cock hard in his pants and that voice in the back of his head chanting louder _mine, mine, mine_ resonating in him. It was maddening, how hot he felt, how his pulse throbbed in his veins, how bad he wanted to feel Theon, how bad he wanted to make him his, to take him, to own him. Ramsay's eyes drifted to the bite mark on Theon's collarbone then and he wanted to bite him there again, wanted to hear him whine because of it. Theon whined so prettily, Ramsay wanted to bite him all over, drag his teeth across his shivering skin and hear his sounds the entire night.
> 
> Swallowing thightly Ramsay choose to draw nice circles over Theon's rim, trying to let one fingertip in, feeling the restrain of Theon's tense body.
> 
> -You need to relax, Theon. Can you do that for me?- Ramsay said in a gentle yet low voice, his free hand still carressing Theon's thigh.
> 
> Ramsay's intense eyes were once again on Theon's face, seeing it blush a bit redder as the young man nodded one more time. Ramsay watched as Theon sighed, and soon he felt how Theon's body slowly started to relax. Ramsay felt the leg on his shoulder a little heavier, just like Theon's thigh felt a lot more softer under his hand, and then Ramsay pushed his fingertip in pass the tight ring of muscle and he smirked, kissing Theon above his knee.
> 
> -Good boy.- Ramsay whispered, meeting Theon's eyes in the distance.
> 
> _And Ramsay loved how easily Theon shivered._
> 
> A little whine slided from Theon's mouth then, as Ramsay pushed his finger deeper into him, it was uncomfortable but as soon as Ramsay nicely moved the digit in and out of his body, carefully and solwly, Theon started to get used to the feeling. It was nothing like the other times, there was no knees forcing his shaky legs open, no hands keeping him down, no slaps, no puches, no piercing pain breaking through his body and no evil laugh ringing on his ears. No, there was only Ramsay's addicing heath, his finger gently pushing in and out of Theon's aroused body, the soothing way Ramsay carressed his thigh, and Ramsay's enchanting blue eyes staring at him. It was a foreign sensation, so new, so nice, one that made Theon's face burnt in embarrassment but also had his heart hammering on his chest, blood pumping hot through his veins, going south, to his cock leaking on his shirt.
> 
> _Theon never felt so desired before._
> 
> -Ramsay...- Theon sighed delighted after a while, feeling another finger slowly easing its way into his body.
> 
> -You are doing so good, Theon. So good for me.- Ramsay said in a low voice, watching how Theon's clear orbs sparked up in arousal.
> 
> Theon gripped the furs under his palms tigther then, head tilting back on the pillows as Ramsay's fingers gently stretched him out. Ramsay's movements picked up in speed, going faster and deeper in Theon's body, and Theon had to bite his lips to not moan out loud at how good it felt. He was surely just too sensitive because it had been so long since anyone touched him, since anyone made him feel good, since he enjoyed someone's touches, but the way Ramsay was making him feel... Theon didn't even know such sensation existed.
> 
> -If only you could see how you are sucking my fingers in, Theon.- Ramsay murmured against his knee, having him shivering.
> 
> Ramsay left open mouthed kisses along the exposed skin of Theon's leg, sucking and biting down on his thigh, leaving a beautiful path of carmine marks that would last till the next morning. Theon whimpered at his love bites, and he whimpered louder when Ramsay moved his fingers even faster and deeper, stretching the man a bit more, feeling how nicely opened Theon was, how warm he was inside and Ramsay bite rather harshly on Theon's thigh at the only thought of how it could feel around his cock. Theon gasped at that, but then he was dragging Ramsay's name in a mellow whine and Ramsay licked away the slight pain before leaving a kiss on the nibbled flesh.
> 
> -Do you think you are ready for me, Theon?- Ramsay asked then, his heavy blue gaze fixed on Theon's sea-green eyes.
> 
> Theon could only bite his swollen bottom lip and nod, feeling how Ramsay carefully pulled his fingers out of his body, leaving Theon feeling empty and too aroused. But he had no time to miss it, because then his attention was solely on Ramsay taking his breeches off, lustful eyes falling on the sensual v line of Ramsay's lower abdomen, and on Ramsay's hard cock and it's pink, bulbous head. Theon felt his face burning then and his eyes quickly searched Ramsay's face, finding a nice smirk curved on his lips as Ramsay kneeled on the bed again, in front of Theon's opened legs.
> 
> -We can stop if you want to.- Ramsay commented then, leaning in to give Theon a peck on the lips, even if it was obvious none of them was willing to stop.
> 
> -No, don't stop. Please don't stop.- Theon said breathless against Ramsay's lips, an arm falling around the man's neck as his hand slided down on Ramsay's body, wrapping around his cock.
> 
> Theon watched fascinated how Ramsay's bright eyes fluttered closed in front of him, focusing on enjoying the movement of his hand. Theon knew how Ramsay liked it to be done, he had to learn to. Theon knew how slow Ramsay liked it at first, long slow strokes, a teasing thumb on his slit, a little faster later. Ramsay liked to be worked up, liked a bit of teasing. And if Ramsay was old Ramsay and Theon was Reek he could've be on his knees then, taking the cock into his mouth, as deep as Ramsay wanted to forced it down his throat... and suddenly Theon thought he couldn't mind if this Ramsay wanted to do that to him then. Theon even thought he wanted Ramsay to make him do it.
> 
> -If you keep doing that...- Ramsay sighed against Theon's mouth, eyes opening to stare at him.
> 
> Theon could see how dilated Ramsay's pupils were, black consuming his blue orbs, and Theon thought his own eyes surely were the same: a storm of lust and want in them.
> 
> -Ramsay, please.- Theon whispered impatient, aligning the man's cock with his slick rim.
> 
> -No, wait.- but Ramsay was faster, and kindly took Theon's hand off, stopping him from doing so.
> 
> Theon swallowed down a whine as Ramsay sat down on the bed, missing his warmth already. But when Theon saw Ramsay pouring the rest of the oil on his hard cock, stroking himself as he looked at him, Theon let a breath out, licking his lips at the sight. Ramsay only smiled at him, an attractive smirk Theon hoped he could see more often. And then Ramsay leaned down, kissing Theon softly, and Theon let a shaky sigh out before he was kissing Ramsay back. It was slow and dangerously sweet but Theon was far too aroused to care. He licked Ramsay's bottom lip, feeling his tongue against his own and Theon mewled into the kiss. But then he felt how Ramsay carefully and gently pushed into him, discomfort and pain burning under his skin as Ramsay stretched him out more of what his fingers did and Theon was soon gasping against Ramsay's mouth. Warm hands got a hold of his trembling thighs, pushing them a bit more opened as Ramsay buried himself deep in him and Theon throwed his head back moaning silently at the sensation of being filled.
> 
> -Gods, you are tight.- Ramsay murmured against the column of Theon's neck, leaving small, calming kisses on the exposed skin.
> 
> Digging his nails into Ramsay's broad shoulders Theon closed his eyes and breathe deep from his nose, trying to concentrate on the pecks Ramsay was leaving on his neck and his warm hands caressing his legs. It did help to relax, just in the slightest bit, and Theon tried his best to focus on Ramsay's nice touches to feel less uncomfortable. It was still a foreign sensation, nothing like the piercing pain of other times but foreign still. His hands slided from Ramsay's shoulders down to the end of his back and up at again, having those intense blue eyes staring down on him and Theon couldn't help but bite his bottom lip at the sight of Ramsay's handsome face. A small smile curled on Ramsay's lips for an instant then, before he was clashing them against Theon's in a new heated kiss. Theon loved it, he was addicted already to the other man's mouth, and he kissed back eagerly, moaning softly at how good it felt.
> 
> Yet he gasped mildly when Ramsay slowly pulled out of him, face heating up as they eyes met and Ramsay smirked down at him as he pushed back in again. Theon rested his shaking hands on Ramsay's shoulders, holding into them as Ramsay's set a nice, slow pace with his thrusts and Theon could barely breathe. Little whimpers slided out of his swollen lips and the grip he had on those broad shoulders got a bit tighter because the sultry look Ramsay was giving him. Theon felt he was burning up, not only because he was aroused, not only because Ramsay was fucking into him in such slow yet madding way, but because Ramsay didn't turn his eyes away from his blushing, moaning face. Theon was so ashamed, because he didn't know what kind of expression he was making and Ramsay was just staring, with his sharp detailing blue gaze. Theon shuddered at that, feeling more excited, and his teeth sank on his bottom lip to prevent another moan to come out of his gasping mouth. But Ramsay smirked at him, wider and sensual, giving one of his thighs a light squeeze.
> 
> -I like the sounds you make, Theon. Don't hold back.- Ramsay whispered against his mouth, his voice sounding husky in the silence of the bedchamber.
> 
> Theon whined as he felt Ramsay pushing deeper into his body, louder that time, watching how Ramsay licked his lips at the inviting sight.
> 
> -Just like that.- Ramsay said in a lower tone, his hungry eyes never moving away from the exquisite imagine in front of him.
> 
> Theon was a moaning mess, a pretty moaning mess, and Ramsay couldn't allow himself to miss a single bit of it.
> 
> Thrusting a little faster but still keeping a slow peace Ramsay pushed Theon's soft legs up a bit more, getting a little deeper and hitting him on a different angle, hearing the most beautiful moan escape those sinful lips. It was louder and in a high pitch tone that had Ramsay shivering, needing to hear more of it. So much more of it.
> 
> -Faster…- Theon mewled against his lips, his gorgeous sea-green orbs heavily glazed with lust.
> 
> Taking those swollen, pretty lips between his own Ramsay complied, letting himself go and giving into his lowest instinct that had been craving for Theon and Theon alone. Ramsay thrusted faster, harder into him, feeling the sting of fingernails sliding down on his shoulder blades, scratching, and that got him even more aroused. The darkness in his head was slowly taking over him, making Ramsay lose himself in the sound of Theon moaning against his mouth, in the feeling of finally having Theon like he wanted, and in the loud, sacred chant of _mine_ singing in his ears. Ramsay was quickly getting addictive, he couldn't get enough of the man beneath him. Ramsay wanted to feel every part of Theon's body, wanted to kiss every mole, every scar; wanted to engraved in his memory all of Theon so he could never dare to forget about him again. _Never again_.
> 
> Breaking the kiss Ramsay let his hungry mouth wander down Theon's chin, down his neck where he sucked and nibbled the tender flesh, hearing Theon whimpering, feeling Theon dragging his incomplete fingers across his burning back one more time. Theon was so sensitive, it was making Ramsay crazy. Every thing he did had Theon responding in the most alluring way and Ramsay loved every second of it. Just like Ramsay loved how he could feel Theon's quick pulse on his neck, and he traced the vein there with his tongue, down and down his pretty skin, till he met the fading mark on Theon's collarbone. Without thought his sharp teeth sank on it again, on the exact same spot, hearing the mellow sound Theon let out as he let his head tilted back into the pillows, back arching off the matters. Ramsay loved the sinfully view, loved the overwhelming feeling of marking Theon, loved the fact that Theon was _his_.
> 
> -You feel so good, Theon.- Ramsay groaned in Theon's flushed neck then, leaving a quick kiss under his chin.
> 
> Theon could only moan his name, over and over again, between little whines and gasps as Ramsay hit a place in him Theon didn't knew he had. The heath inside him was burning even more, driving him crazy with pleasure, so much that Theon found himself moving his hips along with Ramsay's thrusts, as fast and as hard as Ramsay did. The way Ramsay thrusted deep inside him, making him feel so full, his warm lips on his sensitive neck and his soft hands on his trembling thighs had Theon's head stunned and his body burning in a way he could’ve never imagine the other man could make him feel. That only thought got Theon tighter around Ramsay, making him groan against his skin and Theon loved it. Loved the sound Ramsay made, loved the way Ramsay felt, loved his scent and the warmth of his skin, and Theon dragged Ramsay's name in a loud moan as he felt himself getting closer to his orgasm.
> 
> -Are you close, sweetling? – Ramsay whispered in his ear, his low voice sounding shaky and Theon knew he was close as well.
> 
> Theon answered him with a whiny moan, head nodding against the pillows. Theon could barely hear anything aside from his crazy heartbeats and the sound of skin slapping against skin in the chamber, as his nails digged even more into Ramsay's skin as he abused that spot deep within him that had Theon moaning out loud, pleasure shooting through his body like wildfire, running warm under Theon's damp skin. Yet the sound of Ramsay saying his name in a husky purr as he came undone, filling Theon up, is the last push Theon needed. The strong waves of is longed orgasm hit him too and Theon moaned, breathing agigated as he came untouch, cum staining across his shirt, feeling Ramsay ridding out his own orgasm with slow, strong thrust.
> 
> There was a hand on his blushed cheek then, making him look back down at Ramsay, their fast breathings clashed warmly against each other as their eyes met and Theon never felt more... _content_.
> 
> There was a gentle kiss on his gasping mouth, slow and caring, as Ramsay pulled out of him and Theon shivered mildly at the sensation, but then Theon panic when he felt cum dripping from his ass, thinking the furs were going to get soiled and Ramsay... Theon's eyes turned to watch how Ramsay leaned on the night table, getting hold of a rag to clean him with. Theon flinched softly at the feeling of the dry fabric against his sensitive flesh, but Ramsay was quick and soon he was cleaning himself up as well under Theon's curious gaze. Ramsay used to kick him out of the bed when he was done with him, and he never bother to clean him, in fact Ramsay liked to send him back to the kennels with wet breeches and limping. But this wasn't that Ramsay, this was a different a Ramsay, a _better_ Ramsay, and Theon let himself relax upon the bed.
> 
> -Here, wear mine. You can't sleep with that one on.- Ramsay told him with a playful smile, handing Theon his shirt.
> 
> Theon smiled as he took the garment, while Ramsay sat on the bed with his back facing him. It was such a small gesture, but Theon's heart still swelled and beated warmly on his chest because of it. He quickly took his dirty shirt off and put Ramsay's on, and soon Theon felt the familiar scent of the other man. It was musky and it blend nicely with Ramsay's own scent, forming a soft yet pleasant smell, Theon couldn't help but bring the fabric to his nose and breathe it in.
> 
> -Are you done, Theon?- Ramsay's soft voice startled him, but he was still not looking at him.
> 
> -Y-Yes. Get in bed, it's cold.- Theon blurted out then, quickly getting himself under the furs.
> 
> It took nothing for Ramsay to join him and soon they were both cuddling comfortably against each other. A strong arm fell around Theon's waist and the other went under his head and Theon was surprised at how good their bodies fit together. Ramsay was just staring at him while they lied there, and Theon's heart was still beating aggitated with the way Ramsay was looking at him, full of... _things_ Theon could not dare to put a name on.
> 
> -Well, I believe you then.- Ramsay said, a nice smile on his lips.
> 
> Theon frowned at his words, not understanding.
> 
> -I asked you to prove me kissing you was the only good thing I did to you, so I believe you now.- Ramsay explained, the smile curving into a playful smirk.
> 
> -Oh, gods.- Theon muttered, smiling against his will. -Told you so.- he said, feeling Ramsay bringing him closer.
> 
> -I would add I fuck you good as well.- Ramsay's smirk was wider as he commented.
> 
> -I am not feeding your ego, Bolton.- Theon said in a joking tone, and his heart beated startled at how natural that sounded.
> 
> _At how old Theon that sounded._
> 
> Though Ramsay chuckled nicely, leaning in and giving Theon a short kiss on the lips, before resting his head on top of his as he hugged him tightly.
> 
> -Couldn't expect less from the prince of the Iron Islands.- Ramsay whispered against Theon's hair, a smile clear on his lips.
> 
> But then Theon felt the smile fell, disappear. There was a shift, the air in the chamber felt thick, suffocating, and Theon had the feeling something was off. The silence between them suddenly was nerve-wracking and Ramsay's arms felt heavy around him as he hugged Theon tighter, so impossible tighter. Theon was sure he couldn't move, and his heart was beating anxiously against his chest already. But why? There was nothing to be anxious for... wasn't it? Yet when Ramsay's cold hands digged his fingers into his skin, dragging them down his back, leaving angry red marks under their pressure Theon _knew_.
> 
> -M-Master...- Theon whispered weakly, body trembling in dread.
> 
> -Oh? You are all meek now, Reek?- Ramsay said sarcastic, coldly sarcastic as he always was.
> 
> Theon felt tears in his eyes just by that.
> 
> -What happened to lord Theon? He was being so cocky just now.- Ramsay commented then, fake nice tone in his cruel voice.
> 
> -There was only me, m-master. Just Reek. G-Good Reek, loyal Reek.- Theon muttered almost desperate, chanting the words he was forced to learn.
> 
> Ramsay's hand yanked on his short hair then, pushing his head back, making Theon look back at his icy dark eyes.
> 
> -You hadn't be too good, had you Reek?- Ramsay's voice was falsely sugar-coated, dripping with malice.
> 
> -I-I had been good, master. I had.- Theon whined, tears falling at the harsh grip on his hair.
> 
> -Oh had you now? Was it good to break every single rule I had so nicely taught you?- Ramsay wondered acid, Theon could heard the threat in his tone.
> 
> -N-no but y-you ordered me to take a bath a-and to cut my hair a-and to sleep on my old chamber.- Theon tried to excuse himself in a panic, even if he knew it wasn't going to help.
> 
> -You know _I_ didn't order any of those things, Reek. But it's okay, I understand you are a slow, stupid creature and you couldn't tell that wasn't me speaking.- Ramsay's voice was painfully condescending.
> 
> _There it was finally, the game Theon dreaded all along._
> 
> -I-I'm sorry, master.- Theon sobbed, voice barely a whisper.
> 
> Ramsay smirked as he leaned closer, a sadistic, cruel grin Theon knew too well.
> 
> -No, you aren't. But you _will_.- he said simply, and Theon shivered at the blood-lust look in his eyes.
> 
> -Now. We also have to discuss how unloyal you had been, pet.- Ramsay commented then as he pushed Theon falt on the bed, looming over him. -Don't think I didn't notice how this piece of meat came without me touching it.- he said, slapping Theon's soft cock.
> 
> -I-I'm sorry, master. I'm sorry, I didn't...- Theon bite his lips as he felt hands forcing his trembling legs opened.
> 
> -It's okay, I know you couldn't resist. He looked just like me, didn't he? Of course you could've been a needy whore.- Ramsay's tone was cruely playful as he spoke.
> 
> Theon felt his thoat closing as he watched how Ramsay was stroking himself, cock hard in his hand.
> 
> -But I'm hurt, Reek. You never came when I fucked you, less like that. Am I not as good?- Ramsay asked with a fake sad voice, inching closer to Theon's spreaded legs.
> 
> -I'm sorry, master! I'm sorry!- Theon cried then, feeling the hand on his hip bruising his skin.
> 
> -I said you will, pet. Don't worry.- Ramsay calmly told him, unsettling. -Now, lets play a game.- he grinned, wild eyes opened wide.
> 
> Theon sobbed defeated, and then the hand on his hip was closing around his neck in a tight grip.
> 
> -I will fuck you and if you come untouch just like you did before I will let you keep your pretty cock. But if you don't... I don't see why you should keep that useless thing then.- Ramsay said amused, a creepy smile on his lips
> 
> -Shall we then, Reek?- Ramsay asked but Theon didn't hear him, mind already in despair.
> 
> Feeling the hot head of Ramsay's cock over his rim as the fingers on his neck closed tigther over his throat Theon just cried, gripping the furs under his sweaty hands, shaking afraid and terrified. All this time Theon was worried about the wrong thing, he should've been worried about what was his master going to do after he remembered becaus he _was_ going to remember. He wasn't going to leave him so easily.
> 
> Theon should've known it wasn't going to last, _this_ was his fate, _this_ was what he deserved. He was never going to free himself from it, never. It will hunt him till his last breath. He was Reek. Always, forever.
> 
> _Until you are rotting in the ground._
> 
> Ramsay could never forget... and neither could Theon.


End file.
